LOS ANGELES — “The Site of the Second Award Show” starts tonight in downtown LA. “Maria Quagmire,” founder of the award show, spoke with us about what the show stands for, “There cannot only be one site of the year when around 955 million exist in the world. I want more sites to get the recognition they deserve. Originally, I changed it from site of the year to site of the month, but quickly realized that wasn’t sufficient enough. So I proceeded to week, then day, then hour, minute, but finally landed on second. That seemed to feel right.”

While you missed the boat to enter the show this year, there’s always next year. Below are all of the requirements for entry:

• Your site must have been live on the internet for at least one second.
• Entry fee is $257.91 cents (non-refundable). To waive this fee, you can do an impression of a drunken Marlon Brando.*
• Your site must meet WC3 requirements. If you have to Google “WC3,” you need not enter.
• Entries cannot have been previously nominated for any of the following awards: “Site of the Year,” “Site of the Month,” “Site of the Day,” “Site of the Minute,” “Site of the Century,” “Site of the Millennium,” or “Site For Sore Eyes”
• No clown porn site entries, please.
• The judging process is final. If your site doesn’t meet the above requirements, we have a team of 15-year old, acne-faced hackers that will take your site offline.

* Impressions must be funny, accurate and heartfelt. Impression CANNOT simply be a sober Marlon Brando impression. It must be a drunken Marlon Brando impression. Impressions must be later career Brando, not early career Brando. Looking the part helps. You cannot be a professional Marlon Brando impersonator.