The Kerning Killer Strikes Again

BROOKLYN — The “Kerning Killer” has murdered yet another designer with poor kerning skills. 34 year old Randy Brawsaw, was found dead in his small Brooklyn design shop when his assistant arrived to work. His assistant confirmed, “There was blood everywhere...and letters. Like the letters perfectly spaced out that spelled, ‘Kern kill #2.’ What kind of sick person does that?”

Randy was found in the same manner as the previous victim with every other tooth in his mouth removed to symbolize bad spacing. Police have concluded that this is in fact the calling card for the Kerning Killer and this was not a copycat.

Authorities questioned people in the area and only turned up one lead. The doorman of the building remembers seeing, “A person in a hood wearing a ski mask with sunglasses, wearing a biker leather jacket, leather gloves, and gray corduroy pants.” Detectives asked the doorman why he let such a suspicious-looking person into the building. He replied, “We’re in Brooklyn. Everyone’s sense of fashion looks suspicious.”