How to Survive a Brainstorm

Brainstorming can be brutal, and even dangerous, depending on who you work with. It’s a process where many creatives have lost tempers, and in some cases, their jobs. Here are tips to avoid an avalanche of anger in the quest to reaching the peak of advertising.

1. Remember, you and your fellow creatives are a team. You’re all working hard toward securing that one promotion only one of you can get. If another creative tries to one-up your idea, simply give them “The Look of One-Thousand Plagues.”
2. If a creative is weighing down the rest of the team, instead of slicing their throat, cancel the meeting. Then simply reschedule it someplace else without inviting them.
3. Brainstorms should ONLY include creatives. Having an account person make creative suggestions during a brainstorm is kind of like having your parents make suggestions while you have sex. “Son, how about you switch to doggy style?”
4. If another creative (junior or senior) shoots down a good idea of yours, patiently wait until they they pitch that same idea five minutes later. At that time, make crazed, rabies-infected coyote sounds as they pitch it.
5. Never say, “That idea sucks hairy goat nuts.” Instead, simply refer to the brief and say, “That seems off strategy.” Like this, if a coworker is secretly a Voodoo King or Queen, they won’t make you into a voodoo doll — they will voodoo doll the planner instead.