Agency Hires “Business Psychic” to Predict Pitch Victories

NEW YORK — Digital agency, Cyclops Times Two, has staffed a freelance Business Psychic to help them determine which new businesses they should pursue, and which ones they should steer clear of.

Adam Eve, CEO of Cyclops Times Two, stated, “We spend so much time, money and energy on pitches and most of them end up going nowhere. That’s why I employed a Business Psychic to tell me which pitches we’ll actually win. All the others, we won’t even bother with.”

The psychic will remain unnamed so it doesn’t interfere with their relationship with the spiritual realm. However, they have been successful so far. The psychic advised Mr. Eve not to participate in four different pitches and other agencies won all four.

We followed up with the Mr. Eve asking, “How do you know if you would’ve won or lost those pitches since you didn’t even participate in them?” He replied, “We don’t. My gut tells me to trust the Business Psychic. It’s a growing industry, and I want to be ahead of the competition — literally.”