Account Director Gets Tongue Stuck In Client’s Anus
LOS ANGELES — Last night, account director Gavin Wringle, underwent emergency surgery along with his client who will remain unnamed. After kissing his client’s anus too much, and apparently licking it, Gavin got his tongue stuck up it.
When doctors saw the extent of damage, and extremity of the situation, they immediately elected to perform an emergency, “Tonguependectomy.” We caught up with the surgeon after the intense 4 hour and fourteen minute surgery for his remarks:
“A Tonguependectomy consists of cutting the tongue in half, plucking out the remaining tongue from the anal canal with a giant tweezer, and then resewing the tongue together. We then have to do a thorough sanitization of the tongue to ensure no fecal matter is brought into the patient’s mouth when the tongue is stitched back together. A Tonguependectomy is a very serious surgery and can result in death — precisely a 1 in 6,974,452 chance of death. However, the staff here pulled together to save Mr. Wringle”.
The client remained unharmed. There was no comment from Mr. Wringle due to his current inability to speak.